5 Months Later

It’s been just over five months since mom passed away.  After her passing, I stayed back in Canada with my father for a couple of weeks before returning to work.  I slipped back into my usual routines at work, and out in public, I was able to keep it together quite well.  I had a few emotional spells in my office from time to time, and I would let them come over me.  My students knew something big had happened because of my extended absence, and they expressed their sympathies without pressing for details.  My colleagues were aware due to a broadcast email and offered their condolences as well.

Outside of work, all I really wanted to do was just stay in. RS really came through for me during this time.  She listened when I needed to speak, and she was there to comfort me when I got really sad.  Before mom got sick, RS got me a spot in a sushi lesson hosted by celebrity chef Nobu as an early birthday present.  I wasn’t feeling very social but I wen to the class lesson anyway. So it was a lovely surprise when everyone in the restaurant, including Nobu himself, presented me with a cake and sang happy birthday to me.  My friends have also kept me from retreating too far into myself over these past few months.  Whether it was going out to chat over coffee at work or going out for cigars, getting out of the house and being around good people really helped.

I still think of mom with each passing day. But as time has passed, so has the way I remember her.  Initially, thoughts would always be accompanied by a terrible sadness that there would be no new memories to be made anymore with mom.  These days, that sadness has changed to a melancholic acceptance of her passing and a thankfulness that we got to have some great memories together, especially these past few years.