I haven’t been writing much these past few years. There have been a lot of things going on in my life. I’ve wanted to write about plenty of things, but time has been lacking. I will get around to writing on them eventually, but that will have to wait until the time is right. For now, I thought it’d be good to reflect on the last year by writing about the things I remembered the most out of the last twelve months.

January

January was a tough month. Our second daughter was born a month premature in late December and spent the first four days of her life in a transitory NICU getting glucose from an IV.  My mother-in-law arrived in the beginning of January and provided some much needed help.

February

An uneventful month.

March

I turned 46! Got to enjoy a nice meal out with RS at a Wolfgang Puck restaurant. Although the job was going well, this was the month that RS and I decided to leave Qatar. I started preparing for the next adventure by updating my CV and searching for jobs. I cannot, or rather choose not, to elaborate on why I left the job.  I really did enjoy the work and my coworkers were great, but there were other factors outside of the office that led RS and I to our decision to seek a life outside of Qatar..

April

My youngest daughter has to see a physiotherapist to check her skull shape and skeletal development. Apparently she been sleeping on one side too much. I spoke to the nanny and my mother-in-law about keeping our daughter out of the baby sling and make sure her head is turned to a different side each time she naps.

May

A follow-up with the doctor and physiotherapist regarding our daughter went well.  Skull and skeletal development back on track. I found that I had to be more vigilant about the sling as my mother-in-law still tried to use it a few times after the doctor’s appointment.  My mother-in-law was also giving our oldest daughter screen time via the phone. It was uncomfortable, but I had to intervene and take the phone from our oldest daughter more than once.

Work-wise things were going well. I actually had a couple of promising leads for work outside of Qatar. One job was based out of Quebec, and the other was based out of Saudi Arabia.  As the month came to an end, I had to travel to Canada to get my license renewed. Fun fact: In Saskatchewan, they make you come to the driver’s license office in person for your license photo ID. Then they print the license in Quebec and send it out to your a week or two later! While I’m in Canada I got document requests from the Saudi Company, a promising sign. I also get an email from the Canadian job to inform me that I’ve been selected for further screening, which would comprise of an interview and French language in the first two weeks of June.

June

Time for unvacation… My French was pretty good back in high school (20 years ago), but I knew I’d need to put in some serious practice ahead of the test. Over the next 2 and a half weeks, I spent between 4 and 5 hours each day studying, which was really challenging with two adorable little bosses demanding their dad’s undivided attention. I would get study time during their naps and after their bedtimes. When the time came to take the French tests, I passed my reading but flunked my writing. It may not have been the result I wanted, but in the end, I’m proud of the effort I put in, and I can say without a doubt that I did my best under the circumstances.

July

With the tests behind me, I got some much needed rest this month. Or at least as much rest as the adorable little bosses would allow.

August

Time to go back to work. The Saudi company made an offer!

September 

I spend the month doing my usual work routines while prepping for the new job after hours. Things take a bad turn as the month comes to a close. The last week of September begins with another driver hitting my car near a stop sign. Despite the fact they were merging into my lane while I was next to them, they insisted that ‘I collided them’. So we have to go to the traffic office for the police to decide who’s at fault. It’s interesting to watch another person lie to the cops about you. I was apparently far behind them and the suddenly pulled up next to them as they were merging into the lane. I didn’t respect the rules of the road or slow down enough for the light and they had many years of accident-free driving in the US. When it was my turn, I simply said they merged into my lane while next to me. The cop saw the cars and declared the other driver at fault. The other driver was arguing about their US driving experience as I left the station. The most important lesson here? Tell the truth and stick to the facts.

Both our girls got sick near the end of the month. Our youngest had a fever and runny nose, so we took her to the emergency room. They checked her temperature and gave us baby paradox. I found it odd that they didn’t test her for COVID-19.

A couple days later my oldest daughter woke up late at night vomitting with a fever. This meant an ambulance trip to the emergency room since my car was in for repairs. They tried giving her medicine for the fever, but she couldn’t keep anything down. As a result, she had to take the medicine from the other end, which turned out to be easier. The clinic tested her for COVID-19, but her result came back negative.

Unfortunately, I think both our daughters probably already had COVID. A day after our oldest daughter’s emergency room trip, RS got sick with a fever and a cough. She took an home test, which came back positive. Since we were in a one-bedroom, RS had to quarantine in the bathroom. Two days later, a government worker came by to do swabs on the family. Our youngest girl tested positive and joined her mom in the bathroom on the last Friday of September.

October

On Friday and Saturday I was getting sick as well. Saturday was really tough. I moved a mattress into the living room so RS and our youngest daughter could have more space. However, our oldest daughter was already sick and she was completely glued to me. It was hard because I was still the person cooking for everyone in the house. So if I left her side for even a moment, she had a complete meltdown. Somehow we got through the day. But then in the middle of the night she had night-terrors. Not fun. Nope. Not fun at all. Heartbreaking actually. She flailed and screamed, and the only thing I could do was talk to her and make sure she wasn’t in a position where she could hurt her self be hitting a wall or other hard object. Eventually I was able to pick her up and soother her. After about 45 minutes we were able to sleep again. She had another both of night terrors an hour later, but this time it was shorter.

When morning finally came on Sunday, I made breakfast for the house and was getting ready for work. Since I had been sick over the weekend, I did a home-test. This time it was positive. I had to tell me boss the bad news, and then I had to drive to an official test site with my daughter and mother-in-law. My and daughter and I were positive and my mother-in-law somehow managed to be negative. We got her a flight out of Qatar that evening to avoid any further exposure.

At some point during this day, my oldest daughter (OD) and I had a remarkable chat. I revisit it in my mind often because I don’t want to forget it. I’ll do my best to reproduce it here.

OD: Daddy, is OD good?

Me: Of course you are sweetie. You’re a good girl.

OD: OD love Mommy YD and daddy.

Me: Daddy loves you too.

OD: OD sorry daddy. OD love daddy.

The previous day with OD had been really hard. Her interpretation of my reactions to her tantrums had made her think she may be bad. She was also saying that day that she loved everyone else in the house but didn’t love me. What I realized from this chat with her was that she was capable of much more complex thought and emotion than I realized.  It made me sad to realize that she was thinking she was bad and that this was probably due to my reactions to her tantrums.  I have never called her bad, and when it comes to her behaviour, I don’t criticize her, but I focus on the action and the correct way to do something. Rather than “Don’t grab the kittie”, I’d say “The kittie doesn’t like that, try this way”. I’m not always successful at that style, but it’s what I strive for.  However, in my sick state, she was reading my exasperation and stress to mean that she was bad.  Why else would daddy try to leave her so often that day. And why else would daddy seem upset when she just wanted to be with him where she was safe?

Once my mother-in-law left, the rest of us were able to quarantine together as a family. We actually had a great time together. Since RS and I were both forced to take leave from work, our quarantine became a staycation. It was the first time since both kids were born that we were both home and off work together at the same time.

The only other notable event of October was that my Saudi Visa came through. I had to give a quick one-month notice to my boss that I was leaving.

November

November begins with birthdays. RS and then the OD. We had a surprise gathering at Al Bidda park for RS. She got off the subway as usual where she thought I was picking her up, only to find our friends waiting at the park. I came late due picking up food for the party. Traffic from the mall to the park was insane with World Cup approaching. Overall, RS seemed to enjoy the night and the surprise.

OD had her second birthday party at the beach. We had Indonesian food and everyone just enjoyed the sun, sand and waves.

I left Qatar on a high note. I went out for with a few close friends for a going away dinner and the team I worked with had a going-away event for me, which was a nice surprise. I was actually emotional about leaving. I’ve been working a long time now, and this job was my favourite. But the move to Saudi represented a chance to take care of my family in a way that is not possible in Qatar.

I arrived in Saudi mid-afternoon three days after I finished my job in Qatar. The guy I interviewed with for the job met me at the airport and took me for a bite to eat, and we chatted about the job as he shared his tips and advice for succeeding out here. It’s really not much different from any other place I’ve worked overseas. Just do your work and be pleasant to others.

December

I’m working at my new job now. The work is challenging, and there is a steep learning curve, but everyone is supportive of each other and the office vibe is good. The highlight of this month was easy. I got to see my family for six days at the end of December and be a part of YD’s birthday celebration. When I arrived at the airport, my wife and the girls were there to meet me. OD was all smiles, and playful ran circles around her mom when she saw me.  YD was in my mother-in-law’s arms and after a minute or two, she let me take her. Once she was in my arms, she grabbed tight and smiled. She wouldn’t let go.  We had her party a local restaurant a few days later and she got to eat her first birthday cake. We took a gazillion photos.

I left Jakarta on a Wednesday night and was back at work by Thursday morning. After finishing work, I flew to Doha on Friday to get the cats. I flew back to Saudi with them on New Years Eve.  No celebrations this year, just a well-earned sleep.